Apparently I've decided today is going to be the day I blog again after over a year. It's also the day I've realized why I never blog. I only blog when I' m having a lot feelings about something and writing about it makes me feel better (as it does to many people). However anyone that knows me, sees the irony in this. I have very few feelings, hence why I don't blog. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not a cold-hearted bastard (although sometime I wonder...) it's just I don't really care. It takes a lot to get my emotions flowing. However today happens to be one of those days which is why I am finding myself blogging.
To understand completely you need a little backstory: 4 years ago I came to Temple University and the number of people who I knew in a 100 mile radius you could count on one mutilated hand. And it was awesome! I got exactly what I wanted out of the college experience: a fresh start. I have met so many amazing people (also a lot of stupid people) but more importantly life-long friends.
One of those amazing people as well as life-long friends I have to say goodbye to tonight. They're moving on to another place and in another month so will I. At that time we'll no longer have our shared place to return and reunite in. And it's hitting me. Hitting me hard.
This individual in the course of a single academic year has managed to top the ranks in the best friend category. A year ago it would have been hard enough to imagine someone so amazing come into my life and it's even harder now to come to terms that she won't be down the hall when I did to decide what shoes to wear, or in my room cooking dinner for me when I come, or offering to drive me to the bus at 7 am and not taking no for an answer.
I've had a lot of roller coasters in the past few years when it comes to making and breaking friendships but no matter how many changes the circle of mine has gone through I never like being forced to say goodbye. The worst part is I'm not a good long distance friend. I don't make an effort to stay in communication. It's not that I don't care, I just don't try. It's a character flaw and I hate it but it's one of those complicated self-defense mechanisms I'd rather not divulge. It kills me that this might be about to occur. But we'll see.
I'm not going to end this with any sappy cliches because that is definitely not me. Guess that's life.
