"How lucky I am to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye to."

Apparently I've decided today is going to be the day I blog again after over a year. It's also the day I've realized why I never blog. I only blog when I' m having a lot feelings about something and writing about it makes me feel better (as it does to many people). However anyone that knows me, sees the irony in this. I have very few feelings, hence why I don't blog.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not a cold-hearted bastard (although sometime I wonder...) it's just I don't really care. It takes a lot to get my emotions flowing. However today happens to be one of those days which is why I am finding myself blogging.

To understand completely you need a little backstory: 4 years ago I came to Temple University and the number of people who I knew in a 100 mile radius you could count on one mutilated hand. And it was awesome! I got exactly what I wanted out of the college experience: a fresh start. I have met so many amazing people (also a lot of stupid people) but more importantly life-long friends.

One of those amazing people as well as life-long friends I have to say goodbye to tonight. They're moving on to another place and in another month so will I. At that time we'll no longer have our shared place to return and reunite in. And it's hitting me. Hitting me hard.

This individual in the course of a single academic year has managed to top the ranks in the best friend category. A year ago it would have been hard enough to imagine someone so amazing come into my life and it's even harder now to come to terms that she won't be down the hall when I did to decide what shoes to wear, or in my room cooking dinner for me when I come, or offering to drive me to the bus at 7 am and not taking no for an answer.

I've had a lot of roller coasters in the past few years when it comes to making and breaking friendships but no matter how many changes the circle of mine has gone through I never like being forced to say goodbye. The worst part is I'm not a good long distance friend. I don't make an effort to stay in communication. It's not that I don't care, I just don't try. It's a character flaw and I hate it but it's one of those complicated self-defense mechanisms I'd rather not divulge. It kills me that this might be about to occur. But we'll see.

I'm not going to end this with any sappy cliches because that is definitely not me. Guess that's life.

Working For The Man

The days are so long. I can't believe it's only been a little over a month of this routine. It feels like so much longer. It's true I'm enjoying this semester but I am going strong from 7 am-7 pm daily an it's a tad exhausting. Good thing I haven't had a lot of homework yet. I just wish I didn't have so much going on so I could relax a little. I'm so tired. While this semester has been draining, it is going by so fast. I don't know how I feel about this. A lot of my close friends will be graduation and I'm not the biggest fan of being at Temple alone. I feel like there's a lot of deja vu moments to come in my future.

You would think because Temple's Health Services has told me to go into self-isolation that I would a) listen or b) update this because I have nothing better to do.... Nah :) Seriously blog, I love you but I don't have time to post or worthwhile things to say but I promise when I have both of those things I will. :)

Down With Love..?

So today is February 14th. I've really never been that into Valentine's Day and also never really properly celebrated it. The few times that I've been in a relationship during the month of February I've conveniently been out of town for the actual day. Therefore any celebrations that did occur were very laid back and completely unorthodox as far as "tradition" of the holiday goes. And I'm okay with that.

To be completely honest I'm a pretty big commitment phobe. I don't like change and so anyway I can prevent change from ever occurring is pretty okay by me. And if that means avoiding relationships, that's fine. I'm also scared shitless of the L-word. It's a pretty big thing for me to tell someone that I love them in that sense. I'm realizing that this makes me more like a guy than anything. But oh well. I feel like when it all boils down, the common theme is Valentine's Day freaks me out.

However as I rode the shuttle to and from Ambler today there was something that melted my cold heart a bit. It was honestly a sea of red. Red balloons, boxes of candy, teddy bears, flowers, the works. I truly believe that Valentine's Day is an extremely over commercialized holiday (it's worse than Christmas) and I don't understand why people need just one day a year to remind the person that they love and care about that they're thinking of them. Shouldn't you love that person unconditionally the other 364 days of the year too?

But today's sight washed away these thoughts. It was sweet to see all the people up and down the sidewalks of North Broad Street caring about others. And I thought to myself, maybe it's not such a bad thing to have one designated day out of the year to make sure the one you love knows you care. I mean it would get pretty expensive buying a dozens roses, candy, and going out to dinner every other weekend!

Even though I had new insight this holiday I don't think I'm converted into a Valentine's Day lover quite yet but I will say I don't hate it quite as much as I did February 13th.

So maybe Valentine's Day isn't as bad after all. It's just a perspective thing.

If only I were profound...

So here's the deal. I often think about writing in this silly thing but when I open a new post to record my thoughts I find that I am a very unoriginal and a not so creative person. I don't have too many profound thoughts that I wish to share with the world and it seems that nothing exceedingly interesting happens in my life that I deem it necessary to jot in my blog.

However, in a desperate measure to make this blog work I referred to the blog I had throughout high school: my dear, old Livejournal. It was fun going down memory lane but it was also a bit of a surprise to me how much I had to say back then. Some of the things I chose to write about are serious concerns for a teenage girl, and that's fine. But other things I wrote about, I don't know, it just surprised me how I adult I sounded. It kind of dissapointed me that I know longer had thoughts like these but then I had a revelation. A lot of my ramblings in my Livejournal were because I was upset or worried about something so maybe, just maybe, this is a positive thing. Maybe my life is just so amazing (with a side of insanely busy) that I have no need for a blog. Or at least I don't have the same use for a blog that I once did. But that does not mean the end of blogging career. No, not in the least. I am determined to find a new use. Hopefully it won't take too long! So until then I'll leave you a link my ridiculous Livejournal so you can amuse yourselves. It's pretty amusing. Oh lord my life.


Ciao loves.

Bring On The Tryptophan

Now that the pumpkin pie has come and gone I can truthfully state that Thanksgiving Break is not a break at all. It's an interruption that made my life more inconvenient. Don't get me wrong. I loved going home for the first time in practically four months and getting to a weekend with family and friends. However, this morning I was thrown back into the real world that is apparently my life now swamped with work to finish in these last three weeks of school.

Good News: The real break will be here in just 3 short weeks. (fingers crossed)
Bad News: Finals suck and Christmas carol's have started on the radio...yuck.

Lord, I'm such a Srooge.

Above is a picture from this past weekend of me & my sisters. Our family played football and made t-shirts. It was a definite highlight of the weekend.

A Week That Will Go Down In History.

I feel incredibly blessed. This week has been incredible for me and the rest of the world. I got to celebrate 20 years of life with the Philadelphia Phillies winning the World Series and Barack Obama becoming President-Elect of The United States. Change is coming in all shapes and sizes this past week.

And the best part was (especially after Monday night football yesterday)...